Day 39

I am so mad right now I don't think I'll be able to get to sleep tonight.

My monitor (on my regular computer. I'm using a different one now) has been acting up. It doesn't turn on all the way and boy, is it pissing me off. All I know is that I need a knew one. And when I'm pissed off, I am PIssed Off. Everyday, I am easily driven crazy or losing my patience over the littlest things. I swear every single day, and it's OK because I was swearing when I was three-years-old.

Sometimes, not in this cast though, talking about easily being driven crazy drives me crazy. I am often moody for no reason in the afternoon. I just don't feel like smiling or I can't laugh at what I know is funny, and I can't even enjoy the music i'm listening to on my iPod. Once i was trying to watched some Bewitched shows and after a fierce discussion with my dog and the furniture, I couldn't even laugh at what I knew was funny.

In my moody time, I'm often talking defensively when people don't deserve it. My word for that is Stubborn + Snippy = Stuppy. It can also be snubborn or stippy, but it it doesn't sound clever when it's snibby. I get moody and defensive all the time and even though I really don't like it, I can't help it.

Here's another thing. This often revolves around my dog, Duffy. It's said that "ask and you shall receive". If he asks for trouble, then he'll get it. When people give me trouble, I give it right back. When Duffy sometimes tries apologizing, I don't forgive him. He'll run his body against my legs and ask to be on my lap, but I don't forgive people or him. I just don't. If people disrespect me, then there will be trouble.

One more try with my monitor, and then I'll need a new one.